Posting this before it’s cool: Hipster jokes

December 3rd, 2009 idm No comments

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: You don’t know?!

posted by shakespeherian at 7:38 AM on November 25 [2 favorites]

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Lightbulbs? We tape fireflies to our PBR hats with duct tape and can see just as well as YOU.

posted by pyramid termite at 8:29 AM on November 25

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: All of them. One to screw in the lightbulb, while the rest brag to each other about how they were changing lightbulbs before it was cool.

posted by The Great Big Mulp at 10:17 AM on November 25 [3 favorites]

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don’t need lights. Macbooks have backlit keyboards.

posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:44 AM on November 25 [6 favorites]

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Oh, are those the new light bulbs? I liked the old ones better.

posted by Parasite Unseen at 1:32 PM on November 25 [3 favorites]

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I have the answer on vinyl.

posted by ichthuz at 5:06 PM on November 25 [4 favorites]

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: an obscure number you’ve never heard of.

posted by meadowlark lime at 7:22 PM on November 25 [8 favorites]

via The Crazy World of andernestborgnineasdominic! | MetaFilter.

Categories: found, funny Tags:

How is it 2009 and we still can’t write dates in a coherent way?

October 17th, 2009 idm No comments

I have lived in North America my whole life.  Most of that time was spent in the United States, but recently I moved to Canada.  I really like it in Canada, but I have one gripe to share.  Actually, it’s not so much a problem with Canada as it is a problem with humans, or perhaps it relates to the curious relationships between our planet, its moon, and its sun.

I have a problem with the way “we” write dates, but in particular, I have a problem with the totally inconsistent way people are writing dates in Canada.

Date templates

The US has about the dumbest system imaginable.  The template goes “Month / Day / Year” as in “1/20/2009″ is “January 20, 2009.”  Nevertheless, it’s a template that basically everyone follows.  I don’t know who made up the template or why, but the number form appears to map directly onto the written form.

Personally, I write my dates “Year / Month / Day.”  First off, it alphabetizes correctly.  2009/01/01 will be listed before 2009/03/17, for example.  While it’s true that the US system also has this property, my system nicely maps onto file/directory hierarchies.  A folder called “2009″ has 12 sub-folders called 01, 02, 03, etc.  Each sub-folder has a folder for days.  If you want to write the path to a specific day (say, the 3rd day of the 4th month of the 2009th year) you write 2009/04/03.  You might notice that this is the format used by this very blog, which is because it’s awesome.  The date is the filesystem path.

I was delighted to discover that some people in Canada use the same date format that I do, but as time went on, it became clear that this wasn’t a strict rule.  To wit, I present two examples, ranging from terrifying to horrifying:

The grocery receipt

First, we have a fine specimen from Metro, which is one of the local supermarket chains.  You will notice I have circled two dates in red.  Let me be clear about this: these are not separate receipts.  They are actually printed on the same, continuous sheet of paper.

receipt 1

Your eyes do not deceive you: they are different date formats.  Which is which?  I parse the first one as Month / Day / Year, and I parse the second as Year / Month / Day.  In other words, the first is like the US system, and the second is like my ideal system, except they opted to not prefix the century (i.e. 2009 instead of 09).  Naturally, I have a problem with leaving the century off (since you don’t know if they’re talking about 1909 or 2009) but that’s not the worst problem with the receipt.

The parking pass

In the second example, some enterprising individual completely sidestepped the date format problem, and instead presented us with this gem:

receipt 2

Again, your eyes are giving you correct information.  Of course, it’s not clear at all which year it is, which will have profound consequences for that pesky “February 29″ situation.

Converting days into months

Also, it’s just not that simple to convert days into a date.  I present the following two solutions:

http://www.google.ca/search?q=217+days+in+months

google dateThat’s pretty good, insofar as I can tell that we’re talking about July, but it could be better.

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=what+is+the+217+day+of+the+year

wolfram alpha dateOkay – that’s close enough.  Assuming it’s not a leap year, this parking pass refers to July 4th.  Right?  Well, maybe, which brings us to the next problem: the Gregorian Calendar.

The Gregorian Calendar

Do you know what the product of 28 and 13 is?  It’s 364, as in it’s just short of the amount of time the Earth takes to go around the sun once.  You tack on 1.25 days, and you’re back with the normal year length we all know and love.  That’s 13 months, not 12.  How did something so elegant get so screwed up?

The first culprit is Pope Gregory XIII, who changed the calendar around because the date of Easter was shifting later and later in the year.  You see, Easter is calculated according to an esoteric astral scheme including the sun and the moon (how pagan!)  The next culprit is Julius Caesar, who can be blamed for the Julian calendar that so strangely distributed the days among the 12 months.  Pope Gregory was simply revising the Julian system.

Back to the parking ticket.  Knowing that 217 days is 7 months and 4 days doesn’t actually tell us the date, because it’s not clear how many days are in a month.  I got the shivers simply writing that sentence…  We can’t say, with any certainty, how many days are in a month; the best we can say is “it depends.”  Terrible!

Conclusion

We’re screwed.  The calendar is broken, so it’s not much wonder that we can’t write dates.  We don’t have a definition of “month” so any attempt to convert days into months is hopeless.  We can’t write dates according to any template because … well, I suspect no one gave it much thought.

Without further ado, I present the only date template that is guaranteed to be useful:

YYYYY/MM/DD

This makes “October 17, 2009″ look like this: 02009/10/17.  Yes, there’s an extra “0″ in the year, but this is because we don’t want to screw up the year 10,000.  I am in the habit of leaving the extra 0 off, but just be aware that it’s good practice. Every day is two digits; if the day is less than 10, you need the leading 0.  That means you need to write January 1st as “2009/01/01″.  This makes alphabetization work properly.  The same goes for months – you need the leading 0.

There’s simply no other way, people!

curl: HTTP/1.1 100 CONTINUE and multipart/form-data POST

September 18th, 2009 idm 4 comments

I’m working on a REST interface at the moment, and there’s nothing I need more than a quick utility to test out various functions.  Curl fills this role perfectly, but I have run into a strange problem that interferes with multipart/form-data form POSTing.  Let me explain some of the evidence I’ve collected, as well as tell you a workaround I learned from an IRC conversation.  In the end, this comes down to the HTTP 1.1 100 CONTINUE response code, which plays a critical role in HTTP 1.1 POST.

Read more…

The Free Beer Speech House: discussing the meaning of the word “free”

August 4th, 2009 idm No comments

Freedom, glorious freedom.

Once upon a time, I took a class based on  a single question: “what is freedom?”  We meandered through US history, identifying several distinct stages in the evolution of the definition of “freedom.”  I was horrified to learn, during a discussion, that so many of my classmates wanted what I will call “freedom from information.” Ah yes – Professor Sandage had a way of bringing the ugliest truths to the surface, for all to witness.

On the one hand, I can understand this desire for freedom from information: telemarketing, advertising, spam, the scrolling headlines at the bottom of a newscast…  well, any unsolicited attempt at selling things you don’t care about.  On the other hand, I think we need more information instead of less, and we need effective tools to filter and manage that information so we only see what we care about.

The term “freedom” is muddied by historical contexts, but also through the process of etymological erosion.  With that said, I want to take a moment to discuss the expression, “free as in speech, not beer.”

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My experience with semantic dementia, or how I am coping with my reformatted laptop

August 1st, 2009 idm No comments

I just upgraded my laptop to OS X 10.5 and it’s great, but I hit one major snag along the way.  Although I thought all of the Intel Macs shipped with the new GUID partition scheme, it seems like my early-generation Macbook Pro used the old Apple partition scheme, and unless I reformatted my drive as GUID, I couldn’t install 10.5.  Fortunately, I spent the day backing up my old drive, so I just forged on, and once 10.5 was installed, I used the Migration Assistant to transfer my old home directory.

It worked…  mostly.  Partially by design, I chose to not migrate some command line tools, but now I find that every so often, I want to accomplish some task and I can’t … quite … do it, because I need to reinstall something, or perhaps reconfigure something.  I’d say 95% of the old functionality is still there, but the remaining 5% comes up often enough that it feels like something more than 5%.  The feeling is this lurking suspicion that I can’t trust my computer to do something that I know it used to be capable of, and it reminded me of a disease called Semantic Dementia. I don’t have semantic dementia in the sense of the neurological disease, but I’d like to start this off with a story about it.

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Wireless Security in 2009: Recommendations

July 3rd, 2009 idm No comments

Yesterday, I  grabbed an 802.11b/g/* router from Chinatown ($32 – can’t beat that) and set out to use my laptop’s wireless network card.  I hadn’t done this before because I was (justifiably) concerned about wireless security, so I wanted to make sure that a breach of the wireless network wouldn’t turn into a breach of the wired LAN (which includes a printer and a few sensitive servers). This post collects some of my research and observations, and it concludes with my recommendations for how you can secure your own wireless network…  or at a minimum, it tells you how you could if you were willing to spend $32 on a new wireless access point.

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To do in Ontario: Hell Holes Nature Trails

July 1st, 2009 idm 4 comments

Yeah, yeah…  I know what you’re thinking: “I’ve got to visit Hell Holes Nature Trails, once and for all.”

Don’t worry – I’m with you.  When you’re driving down 401, you can’t help but wonder what the sign is all about.

hellholes

Well, you’re not alone; I’ve wondered about this sign, too.  It’s not like I’ve been to Hell Holes Nature Trails, but it’s officially on the list, and who could pass up this kind of opportunity?

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To Canada!

June 26th, 2009 idm No comments

Okay peeps – the next time I post, I will hopefully be in Canada.  So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Categories: story Tags: , , ,

In my handwriting, thousands of digits of Pi

June 17th, 2009 idm 2 comments

in my handwriting the first thousands of digits of pi

in my handwriting, thousands of digits of pi

Yes folks, you have read that correctly.  For obvious reasons, I felt it would be excellent to render Pi using my handwriting.  And why not?  After all, it’s a famous series of non-repeating digits; perhaps the most famous irrational number of all time.

How many digits are in this picture?  I don’t know.  I could count, but so could you.  It’s thousands, however.  Go ahead; zoom in.  Count the digits.  Look for errors, and if you find any (and if you make it easy for me to believe you) then I’ll do this over again…  but I’m pretty sure it’s right.  I based this work on the 100,000 Digits of Pi page.

Why was it important to do this in my handwriting?  Because of “obviously.”  …as in, the self-evidence of writing pi in the style of my own handwriting is axiomatic, and requires no justification.  In fact, simply asking “why would anyone do this” is what needs to be justified.

So, there you have it.  It’s Pi, and it’s my handwriting.  There’s more to this story, but I shall leave that for another day.

The remarkable number 1/89

June 11th, 2009 idm 3 comments

Wow – this is a surprising finding:

The decimal expansion of 1/89 is just the Fibonacci series, added together in an appropriate fashion.

Specifically, think of the Fibonacci series as being a sequence of decimal fractions, arranged so the right most digit of the nth Fibonacci number is in the n+1th decimal place.

via The remarkable number 1/89.

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